Mantas, Jokūbas and Gabrielius

Tėtis su dviem paaugliais vaikais važinėja paspirtukais

“My time with children is often quite different from their time with their mother. We have two boys, so my wife doesn’t get to enjoy the so-called “girly” activities. Our boys, just like me, hate shopping, dressing up when we go out, etc. Usually, our entertainment is active time together. Since I love sports, we often spend time actively, starting with bicycles, scooters, and going on walks. Sometimes we go on bicycle trips 30-40 kilometres long or even longer. We go off to do various boyish activities, like riding karts or going to the shooting range and my wife sees us off with an entirely clear conscience, without feeling the need to join herself. It’s my type of dad time. We try to divide the responsibilities of raising children equally. Still, their mom often devotes more of her daily time and care. Therefore, I try to compensate for it by inviting my children to do something fun together whenever I can.

The biggest adventure that I can remember was the almost a month-long trip to Croatia that just the three of us went on. We drove our car through Poland, the Czech Republic, and all the way to Croatia, where we lived in a tent for two weeks. I remember my wife calling me and asking what we were up to. I say that I was working on the computer and the children were swimming in the sea. She may have been a little worried, but I knew that my confidence in our boys was very strong and that they could manage many things by themselves. At the same, this trip was a challenge, and I had to face all their questions alone, deal with all the serious conversations, all the emotions, good and bad, etc. The most interesting thing is that after we returned and talked about our trip, we got a lot of reactions from our friends. There are quite a few friends in our group who only have sons, so I noticed that they also started taking their boys on father-son outings, hikes, or elsewhere.

Trying to balance parenting with work is tricky. Sometimes you have to work at home, at other times – leave work later. I noticed that spending quality time that’s fully dedicated to the children (even if it is just half an hour or an hour) is much more effective than spending loads of time together, for example, watching TV or constantly checking the phone. I try to take my children to our summer house to do some housekeeping chores whenever I can. We spend time together, work in nature, and learn how to construct and fix things around the farm. I want to pass on the knowledge that I have learned from my old man. I want them to know how to cut wooden planks and do other farm work.”