Mantas, Eleonora and Robertas
“I think it is necessary to start with the fact that in order to be a dad, you have to become one first. This is the most important transformation of all, which, in fact, not all fathers want. And if this transformation does not happen, if it does not manifest, then being a father becomes conditional, or, rather, this transformation is replaced by the aim to create an illusion of a “wonderful father” to the outside world (you become an actor). Therefore, a successful transformation can be considered to be a process when you become a true dad, whereas a failed transformation can be referred to as becoming a “superdad”, as it is fashionable to say these days.
When it comes to me, becoming a father meant changing my priorities, which I did consciously, of my own free will. In fact, this change in priorities was pretty drastic, which I did not expect. To put it simply, I moved from a state of mind where everything revolved around me, to a state of mind where everything revolved around my child, and both of my children later on…
And when you become a father (a true father), being one becomes very wonderful and interesting. Life truly becomes so much more colourful. Of course, all of this should not be idealized or stereotypically viewed as a “daddy thing” or the “happiest moment”, because it would be self-deception. Raising children is very different from what we see in Hollywood movies, it is not “Vanilla Sky”. From a mathematical point of view, there are certainly more challenges than joyful moments, but the emotional side, those moments of happiness, really make it up for all the hardships you experience during your day. To be fair, these actual moments of honest, conscious communication with your child are the best aspects of being a father. It is a priceless feeling to be able to watch your children grow and improve, and know that you are contributing to their growth to the best of your abilities.
It should however be noted that being a father is also continuous self-improvement and self-discovery, which, too, is a wonderful thing. You begin to see a lot of your own flaws that you are feverishly determined not to pass on to your little ones. And this works better than any kind of self-help or self-discovery book available in the market! So, all that remains is to continue improving and try to be a really good dad.”